he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Randomize
