Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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