actually, I'm a sock model
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
