I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
