i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
