I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
