did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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