Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I hate your face
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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