Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize