I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
