You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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