Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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