I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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