He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
