I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
