areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
