This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
