We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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