Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
