NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
