apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I need to stop coming to work sober
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize