i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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