you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize