whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I queefed so loud it echoed.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
