First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
