so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
