We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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