I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
