i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
