It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
