we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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