Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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