please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We have started to decorate penises.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
