What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
