operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
