I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
