I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
