I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
