How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
