Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My vagina is officially offended.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
