did you get engaged???
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize