Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
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