Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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