So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize