Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
