This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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