Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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