If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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