Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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