You just made me feel so damn special
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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