and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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