Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
