is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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