Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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