he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize