it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
