Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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