But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just threw up on my dentist
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
