I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
