Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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